me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
