I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
