apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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