her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
