too bad you live with your parents still
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
