and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
