Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
