Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Randomize
