Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
