Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
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