I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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