I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
