My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
