We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
