You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
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