He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
