love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
