I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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