I feel like I'm in dance class right now
only if we run a train.
done.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Are we still banned from the library?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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