hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm both gender and math confused
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
