Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
