i would punch a child for taco bell
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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