Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
