dude i'm inner monologue high
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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