dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
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