apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
