after a month anything with tits is on the radar
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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