Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
