explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
