we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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