Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
