Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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