I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
