ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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