So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
you had me at cake vodka
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Randomize
