My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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