I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
