Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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