I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
