I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
there is puke in my bra ... again
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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