Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
