They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
