Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
So much rum. So many feels.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
