she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
