She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Randomize
