i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
