I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
