We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
