What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
