dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
