i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
soo... how was my night?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
