Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
