i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
